Information Just for Guys

You are not alone. You decided to have sex with a girl who now is or may be the mother of your child. The news hit you like a 400 pound linebacker. You’re in shock, thinking “WHAT DO I DO NOW?”

Before you freak out, here are a few steps to get you started.

Find your nearest free, confidential pregnancy clinic (like Crossroads). Go with the girl to obtain a free pregnancy test and ultrasound to confirm that #1 she IS pregnant and #2 the baby is viable (living) inside the womb.
If the pregnancy is the real deal, get ALL the facts before making any decision. A free pregnancy center can provide both the father and mother with information and resources to help you make an informed decision – a choice that you can both live with for the rest of your life!
Take some time to breathe and figure out what to do. DO NOT RUSH into any decision. This is a choice that will affect the rest of your life, so you want to be sure it’s the right one. Check out the decision guide on our web site for assistance.
Help the pregnant girl apply for insurance or Medicaid and make her first doctor’s appointment. Remember, pregnancy affects a woman’s body tremendously, so you want to be sure she is being taken care of, too. And encourage her to drink plenty of water and begin taking prenatal vitamins, regardless of what outcome you choose for your baby.

Many thoughts are racing through your mind.

What will my friends and peers think? How will they treat me? How would a baby affect my football career? What about college? My job? I don’t have the money right now. My parents will kill me. And how will this affect my relationship with my girlfriend?

Abortion

Don’t be fooled. As the father of this baby, you play a MAJOR role in the decision. You have the right and the duty to stand up for your child. We at Crossroads have spoken to many women who considered abortion or who have had abortions. And many of these frightened young women tell us that they were just waiting for the father of the baby to save them. As the man in the situation, think about saying something like this, “I know we are both scared right now. But I know that we can do this. There is help for us with finances, baby items, and even counseling to get us through this rough time. Let’s go to the pregnancy center and see what help we can get.” It’s not true that men aren’t affected by abortion. Men ARE affected by abortion.

Many men experience a significant sense of loss and regret when they lose a child to abortion. Consider all the consequences before making the choice.

Adoption

Remember, if you can’t emotionally or financially raise a child right now, ADOPTION can be a win-win option for both you, the mother, and the baby. You can choose a loving family to raise the child, and you can still move on with your educational and career goals while knowing that you provided a better life for him or her. Adoption is usually a free process for the birth mother and father. In fact, most adoption agencies will help to pay for the mom’s living and medical expenses while she is nurturing that baby in her womb. And you can the mother can even choose if you want to remain in the child’s life (open adoption) or choose a closed (no contact) adoption instead.

Parenting

So you’re young or in the middle of an educational or career goal. Or maybe you’re not even in a relationship with this woman. These are all times that will change. The one fact that will not change is that you are a FATHER now. There are many types of fathers. What type of father do you want to be? Have you always thought that you’d provide for your kids more than you’ve ever had? Do you envision yourself playing soccer with your son or watching your little girl twirl around in a tutu? Or would you prefer to stand by while someone else does all the work – and thus has all the fun, too? Parenting IS a lot of work, but the BENEFITS and joy far outweigh the cost. Ask the consultants at Crossroads about parenting classes, childbirth preparation, free resources for insurance and food, and even how to earn free baby items like diapers, wipes, strollers, car seats, and more.